All Thing's Books

Hiii lovelys, how are you all? Hope you're all well.

This is a different post but i've been OBSESSED with reading books lately. So i'm just going to talk about books i've been reading lately, I have more at home but I couldn't fit them in my bag to bring back to my uni house (literally the worst). If you have any book recommendations please do tell, as i'm going to be buying more books!!!

I actually have a kindle as well which I used to use all the time but lately i've preferred to read physical copy of books rather than off a screen.. anyone else? Idk it just feels cosier and different, i'm sure i'll probably go back of getting into a routine of reading the kindle but for now i'm loving 'actual books'.

SO my first book i'm going to mention is: The Christmasaurus by Tom Fletcher

Whenever I mention this to friends they're always like "isn't that a child's book?" But yeno what I LOVE IT (!!!!) I actually think it suits all ages and it fully gets you into the Christmas spirit.. I read this before Christmas but just finished it this week as I left it back at uni. I don't wanna do a pure review of these books, but it was just super sweet and think everyone should read it. 

The next book is: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them by JK Rowling

Most people have probably heard of this, at first I'm not gonna lie it was kinda slow so I was a bit disappointed but when you get through the first few 'Scenes' I couldn't put it down. I love how it's kinda linked to Harry Potter too where they mention Hogwarts, Dumbledore and Muggles it made me SO happy. I also saw the film and it was exactly like the book described, which I knew it would be because of her Harry Potter series and it's one I can see going back to for a long time. 

The next is: The Girl On The Train by Paula Hawkins

My mum and friends have been trying to get me to read this for ages and I don't really know why i'm only just reading it now?? It's so different to what I thought it was going to be like though but again I was obsessed and I got through it in about 2 days! The ending was so unexpected and I was actually getting so scared reading it.. not the best story to read at 2am lol. When I finished it I just wanted to watch the film as i've heard mixed reviews on that too and would be disappointed if it was massively different. It kinda was different like the location and mixed up what was said where, but suppose that was to make the whole movie shorter I don't think it'll be one I'll watch again tbh. The book was deffo better but just my opinion.

The last book i'm going to mention then is: Girl Online, Going Solo by Zoe Sugg (Zoella)

I've loved the whole of her series, and they just get better each time if this is the last one i'll be so disappointed but it would be an amazing ending as well. How good would it be if there was a movie as well?! GOALS. At some points in the book however, I felt like it was so unrealistic I did so many eye rolls but just gotta get past that. Since Zoe suffers with anxiety as well i've always found it so inspiring that she wrote about a character with it as well, raising awareness to it and since the main character is a photographer and blogger I could properly relate to her.. besides her famous boyfriend. After reading this though it gave me SO much motivation to get back out there and producing photographs for my own uni work, so if you want some motivation go ahead and read this! 

So, that's all the ones i've read recently if you have any favourite books please do leave them in comments below i'd love to read them, or if you've read any that I have leave your own opinions. 

Feeling Like You Don't Fit In

This is probably going to be quite a deep post as i’m listening to Nathan Sykes’ album.. damn you Nathan. However, this is going to be all about friendships and my life experience with having the worst friends and how i'm getting through it.

I’m not going to lie, I used to have loads of friends back in primary school but then when we moved off into secondary school. Me and my friends drifted apart and I was left alone and shy, not knowing how to make friends as I mainly kept the same friends from reception up to year 6. 

In secondary school, I was always the odd one out in my friendship group it was really odd I had no one else to turn to except this friendship group. I mean, I had different friends in some of my classes but I wasn't suddenly going to go and join their friendship groups. That wasnt me to tell people how I felt and I liked everyone to think that my life was perfect and I was really happy with my friends. But in all honestly I hated every minute with them and I would often skip school just so I wouldn't have to deal with them.

Friends are meant to make you feel happy and positive, but these just wouldn't make me feel like I was one of them. I was just the odd one that would follow them around at dinner and break times I hated it so much. I’m not going to go into detail but in year 10/11 I can't really remember, I went off and joined another friendship group who were friends from my science class. I didn't especially like these friends as they were the ‘chavs’ of the year whereas the other ‘friendship’ group were the sort of populars so it was a massive drop. Back then I really cared about who I was friends with like, did I really want to be seen hanging round with these when the people I used to hang round with were so cool?? But I had no other choice. 

Moving on from secondary school dilemmas i’m now in university and the past two years i’ve always had one main best friend from my course but never really hung out with anyone else. So last year when we got separated into different groups, I felt like I was back in secondary school again with no friends to turn to at dinner time as most of the class had gone into the new groups with their old friends..lucky for them right. This meant at dinner time they would go off and eat together at restaurants, leaving me to just walk home in the dinner hour thank god I lived only 10 minutes away from uni otherwise I literally don’t know what i’d do. 

It was a hard beginning of the year for me I even ended up going to see my tutor about it saying how upset I was and that I just wanted to move groups again because I just didn't fit in and I didn't have anyone. He wouldnt let me move telling me that it would be good for me and in the industry I wouldn't work with anyone I knew. But he didn't understand my past and I just hated having to cling onto people hoping they’d want to hang arround with me rather than having me forced onto them.

I did end up talking to some girls that I was friends with in first year but I mean I was only friends with them because we would speak over twitter we weren't bffs but I sat next to them in class and when we went to Paris I even hung around with them at times but I felt like I was still trying to fit in with there group just hoping that they would accept me. 

In this year, there are no groups we’re all in one big class. I now have two friendship groups where I'm rather close to all of them I would like to say. One of the friendship groups is the one from last year and I even went out for dinner/tea and some cocktails with them yesterday and I can honestly say it was one of the best days i’ve had in the last few years. I felt so included and it just made so happy that they actually wanted me there to celebrate one of their birthdays with them.

This might sound so weird to some people like, 'it was only for a day, she must be really weird not getting invited to anything much whats wrong with her?' I’ve thought all those things about myself too what is wrong with me that makes me feel that people don’t want to be my friend. I think because of back in year 10/11 I had such horrible things said to me from my ‘friends’ who I would hang around with since year 7 it’s so hard to trust and get close to people. If I hang around with people would they just get bored of me, do they even want me there, are they talking about me behind my back thinking of ways to get rid of me when i go the toilet? ALL of these go through my mind when i’m with a number of people, it’s so hard for me and I just wish I could just chill with people and not have to worry hopefully I will be able to one day.

This may be a bit rambling and deep, but felt like I just wanted to write all these down and some of you may be in these circumstances. It WILL get better.